If you ask any leader or manager about the hardest part of their job, many will say it’s having difficult conversations with people on their team. Examples of tough conversations range from discussing personal problems to speaking to people about business challenges or performance issues. There’s no right way to have a difficult conversation, but there are more effective strategies. Here are some tips to help your managers navigate these difficult conversations with people on your team:
1. Prepare appropriately.
Regardless of what you have to discuss, preparation is important. You want to have as much information on the subject matter as possible. If you need to gather specific examples or data in preparation for a conversation, have this ready. Think about what you will say and how you will say it to make sure your message is received in the best and clearest way.
2. Choose the right time and place.
Timing is everything, and so is location. Most difficult personal or performance related conversations should be had privately away from the ears of other employees and in a place where it’s easy for you and the employee to listen easily and focus on what you have to say. In certain circumstances it may be wise to have a second leader or HR representative present with you to ensure everyone hears the same message.
3. Get to the point quickly.
Having hard conversations can be awkward and stressful, and when people are already feeling nervous they tend to ramble. Try to avoid this by getting to the point quickly. Directness with diplomacy is a great approach to help you deliver a succinct message, but in a sensitive way that is mindful of someone else’s feelings and circumstances.
4. Remain solutions focused.
Don’t just present the problem(s)…present solutions too. This helps the other person see you as on their team, instead of up against them. If you go into a difficult conversation with an idea of how to help fix the issue, or with a suggestion of what the employee could do to address the problem, then it helps set that person up for a more successful outcome.
5. Don’t be vague and have an “ask” in mind.
In most difficult employee conversations, there is ultimately something you’d like for the employee to start doing or stop doing. Be clear on what this is. Asking for a specific action or change from your employee as you wind down your conversation helps refocus their attention onto fixing a problem as opposed to fixating on the conversation you just had.
6. Prepare for multiple outcomes.
We all know difficult conversations can be received in a number of ways. Most of the time if you prepare thoughtfully, these conversations will go better than you expected. But there is always an element of unpredictability when you’re working with people. If your work environment is in-person and not virtual, and there is a chance the person may get angry or upset, have a plan for how you will deescalate things and for how you will help them get some space or gracefully return to their workspace in a way that does not draw a lot of attention.
7. Document your conversation.
This is a best practice for difficult conversations related to employee performance or behavioral issues. And it’s also a helpful step if you have to have follow-up conversations about the same issue, whether it’s related to performance or not.
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